Sunday, August 06, 2006

Protection, Nurturing, and Love

Ice_Princess said...

Hey Gaelin,
When are you coming back? On this topic by the way my new daddy says that a woman wants to be protected, nurtured and loved and that it's the man's job to provide that, and then he said when a woman gets that from the man she wants then everything is anyway where are you?

Has it really been so long since I've last written? May 18th does seem a world away, doesn't it? I apologize for being gone so long; my wife is out of town and has been for several weeks (on a business-related trip) and so my muse is missing. Alas, what am I to write about with no naughty girl forgetting her phone every other day? Thanks to Ice Princess for providing me with something else to write about.

I understand what your Daddy means by women wanting to be protected, nurtured and loved. However I don't believe that feeling is necessarily innate. In fact, I think that rather, it is more an inborn trait of women to provide protection, nurturing and love (to their children), where it is perhaps less likely that men will possess these traits without cultivating them.

All in all, I don't think it's possible to boil a gender down to three basic needs, and assume that fulfilling these needs will result in a happy union. The needs you mentioned are definitely characteristics I would expect to find in a successful coupling but I'm not so convinced they are "female" needs nor that it is a "male" responsibility to meet them. I think these needs are common to both sexes and that both partners will need to provide these basics to each other consistently to keep a relationship functional.

For example, I agree that Anna wants these things from me, and I do my best to provide them for her with as much dependability as is possible, but I don't think she has the market cornered in needing these things. As her husband, I want these same things from her in turn. Love, of course, but even nurturing and protection in different ways. I don't want her to don a suit of armour and slay villians on my behalf, but she does protect and nurture me in her own ways.

She does massage my shoulders after I've been at the computer screen all day, and she does, even, protect me from situations I don't like being in by managing people and social scenes to keep me from having to talk to people she knows I don't want to talk to, or get into discussions she knows I don't want to have. This kind of protection isn't about killing lions (but neither is mine for her). Instead it is about emotional protection, helping each other to be "emotionally safe" wherever possible.

So yes, Ice_Princess, I agree that women need these things and that men must provide them, but I don't believe that is a one-way street in the least. The thing about ageplay and BDSM is that it tends to look as though the "top" or "Daddy" is doing all the providing, but it isn't, in my experience, like that at all. Although the obvious nurturing flows in one direction, there are always more subtle things going on that aren't so easily seen or even described. There are many types of protection and nurturing and love!

It does sound as if your new Daddy has good intentions in wanting to fulfill your needs for these things and I do hope that you find the relationship rewarding.


Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Yes May 18th, you've been away a long time. I tend to agree with you that these things flow in both directions. We shall see how it goes. So let me see, since I am musing you in Anna's absence I feel the need to come up with other topics for you to write about...course I am having trouble coming up with my own topics to write about, with my MBA finishing up next year I am running out of things to carry on about. You know I accidently fell into this, I had no idea he was the daddy all need to have neon signs or something.

So here's a topic for you...what do you do with yourself when Anna's not around to keep you out of trouble?

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey galiano...

i miss your stories and annas too...

my blog is gone.. due to my lack of passion for it.. i hope the same isnt true for you...


6:04 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

nope it's already over

10:10 PM  
Anonymous sugarpunk said...

hey g

i really miss yall ... although i shut down my blog also i still read the ones that always interested me .. yours is one.. and NO to the question in your head.. nothing has gone forth yet... but again i and he are very slow to move on the relationship front..

12:50 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Gaelin is everything alright you haven't written in months. I'm concerned

5:15 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Happy New Year

5:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i look almost every day hoping that you have returned. i loved your stories and your writing, i find them moving, romantic,intelligent, well written, and what a relationship!
please come back and let us know about both of you. i hope you are fine.

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

still missing both of your blogs a lot and hoping you're fine and will decide to return...

4:01 PM  
Blogger Delilah said...

I'm fascinated by both you and Anna. Do you use birth control though? Your lifestyle = tempting to me, a 19 yr old, but maybe traumatizing to a kid to see his mother humiliated and stripped??? And you've been married for like 8 yrs and never had kids?

Not judging, just sinceerely curious. I'm very curious.

Love Delilah

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

End of 2008 and missing your posts...

6:45 AM  

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