Thursday, May 18, 2006

Why Feminism and Ageplay are Compatible

Quoth Annalove:
As I grew older I became ashamed of this desire because it fit so poorly with everything I had been taught and believed about women's rights and equality and feminism and so forth. I hated the idea of being controlled by a man at the same time as I longed for it. I wrote off my own secret interests as something weird about me and didn't pursue them other than through imaginings.

Feminism is defined as: the movement toward the full social, political and economic equality of all people.

I support feminism. How could I not? Equality is a given. All people deserve the same rights, supports, and opportunities without discrimination by race, religion, sex, age, etcetera etcetera.

This is where we get hung up. Equal doesn't mean the same. Say it again, with me: EQUAL DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME.

Men are not the same as women. Women are not the same as children. Christians are not the same as Muslims. Asians are not the same as Austrians. All equal, all different.

Equality means all these people should have the same right to decide their own destiny. Everyone should have the opportunity for education, employment, housing, medical care, and so on. And everyone should be free to decide how to live their life, given that their choices harm no one else.

In this way, I support Anna's right, and the right of all women, to decide to live in a relationship in which the man is dominant. By the same token, I support a man's right to choose a dominant wife if that pleases him. I support the right of all people to make their own decisions about what they need.

A Saudi women where I work said to me the other day, "People think Muslim women are abused because we cover our hair and bodies. I think non-Muslim women are abused because they are targeted by advertisers to feel insecure about their hair and bodies." I am sure a truer word was never spoken. We must support the rights of Muslim women to choose to cover themselves the same way we must support the rights of non-Muslim women not to.

In suggesting it is unfeminist of Anna and women like her to accept a dominant male figure in her life, it is suggesting that Anna is incapable of making a competent decision for herself. How unfeminist is that, I ask you? As a woman, as my equal, Anna is just as entitled to decide what she wants as anyone else. Being submissive and being my little girl is entirely her choice.

Anna and I have always had an agreement that we can discuss any rule or any punishment she does not agree with and that I will always listen to her and work to accommodate her needs. The only caveat is that we do not discuss a punishment that is pending or in progress as rationality tends to be abandoned during these periods of high emotion.

For example, early in our relationship, I used to sometimes hold onto Anna's hair to lift her head to look at me. I never pulled it hard, but she explained to me that it was something that hurt her, emotionally, because it reminded her of her abuser. Of course I never did it again.

Likewise, we have had discussions about rules and I have changed rules at times when it made sense to do so. Another example is that when Anna has finished working on a particular theatre project, there is often a cast party. On that night of celebration, curfews are always extended because participating in this celebration is important to her and her colleagues.

Another example of Anna being free to discuss things with me was with regard to her fear of the cane. Her wish to avoid this implement was something I respected and never forced her to change. (I admit I did my best to tempt her to change her mind, however!)

Feminism and ageplay are completely compatible. As long as everyone involved is safe and content, feminism is not threatened in any way.


Blogger sugarpunk said...


interesting to see your take on this as well..

i dont consider it demeaning at all.. its a choice just like other things are...

12:36 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Sweety, that's the problem with feminism. If you do not agree with them you are seen as somehow less of a woman or defective. I remember watching the president of NOW give a speech. She said feminism was about giving women options and then proceeded to bash stay at home moms. I promptly changed the channel, unfortunately feminism is filled with hypocrits, most movements are I suppose but feminism seems to have more. Personally, dominant men allow me to be a woman. I could diatribe on this all day, but I'll spare you and everyone else. Nice post!

7:20 PM  
Blogger sugarpunk said...

i miss yall...

3:38 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Thanks for your comments on my blog. I seem to have offended a bunch of people with the comments. Yes, being more in control of themselves and the situation does lend to a freedom, but no doubt you know about the discussions Anna and I have had about duality and how everything is really about the sub or in your case the little one right?

2:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummmmmmmm.........been a long while between posts....hope all is well with You and the little one.


12:09 PM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Sir Gaelin arise, I have posted regarding the topic of white knights so I hope your all polished up have to look good when you come riding to the rescue or the whole thing loses something. Heheheheh that was fun, I bet there were lots of knights named Gaelin. Course the Galen I knew in high school was an asshole, go figure....anyway I hope you enjoy my white knight rant...

6:11 PM  
Blogger sugarpunk said...

psssst... hoping you have a story to tell with all this MIA stuff... LOL

3:03 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Hey Gaelin,
When are you coming back? On this topic by the way my new daddy says that a woman wants to be protected, nurtured and loved and that it's the man's job to provide that, and then he said when a woman gets that from the man she wants then everything is anyway where are you?

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

miss both your blogs. hope you are ok. please let all your admirers know how things are going.

9:35 PM  

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