Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Thoughts on Maintenance

Daddy's little one wants to know...

Now I have another question if you don't mind me asking. Today I got maintenance (I wrote about it in my blog if you don't know what I mean) and I was wondering if you do maintenance on Anna too. I was wondering because I've never seen you post anything about it so I wondered if you don't do it or if you do and just haven't mentioned it before.

Aha! Another question from the curious little one. I would have thought after spending so many hours online chatting with Anna that you might have covered this topic, but since you have not, I am happy to address it. *winks*

You were correct in thinking that perhaps I do not do "maintenance" on my little girl. I am well familiar with the idea of maintenance and I did take the time to read your blog entry about it. I must confess that after reading it I felt tempted to barge in on my little one as she lies reading on the settee and announce that a new routine would begin today!

However, there are reasons I don't do maintenance as you describe it, and please bear in mind as I explain them that I mean not to contradict your Daddy because of course what works for one couple is not what works for another.

The primary reason I do not give Anna maintenance spankings is that she simply does not need them. There was a time, nearer the beginning of our relationship, when she was far more likely to forget the rules and forget her position in our lifestyle. At that time, I did spank her far more frequently than I do now, but again, these spankings were for specific infractions rather than general maintenance spankings.

Another reason is that I believe it is important for Anna to feel that she has control over whether she is or is not spanked on any given day. An enormous part of what makes discipline successful in our relationship is the fact that she is able to predict what behaviours will get her into trouble with me, and that she can avoid them if she chooses to. Accountability is the focus of discipline and spankings, and in our relationship it is essential that she is only spanked for things she has done wrong, and not for things she might do, or things she has thought of doing. I need for her to feel that punishments are fair and reasonable and for that reason I cannot justify punishing her just to remind her that I can. The fact that she is punished regularly enough for real infractions makes it difficult for her to forget that she can and will be punished when it is warranted.

Likewise, I do not believe in delaying discipline that has been earned unless it is absolutely unavoidable to do so. If we have made a commitment to go out, she will be punished beforehand. I have no qualms about taking her out with a sore bottom. If we are interrupted mid-punishment, the punishment will continue immediately after the interruption has ceased. And most importantly, if she has earned more than one spanking in any given day, she will receive them, regardless of the punishment prior and with no less care and attention than the first was administered. I read with interest that your Daddy spanked you twice in one session - I share his belief that this is, occasionally warranted, as unpleasant as it may be. I too have spanked Anna twice, consecutively, upon occasion, when she has disobeyed me about an aspect of her punishment. It has very rarely been necessary to do this, and upon having learned that I would not hesitate to spank her more than once in a day, Anna realised that one spanking did not prevent another one from following it - and disobedience was far less of an issue.

There are some other aspects of maintenance that I do agree with, however, and do implement. As far as remembering her place, Anna's biggest fault is that she does sometimes forget that she is my little girl and that she is expected to follow some little girl rules. While she is almost always respectful and obedient, she does sometimes forget that within our home she is my baby and there are times I need to remind her of that. When she forgets her littleness too often, I like to implement a "Little Day" to help her remember. These occur on the weekends when I am able to monitor her behaviour very closely and give her attention she needs.

During a Little Day, Anna is treated as much like a baby as I can manage. She is not permitted coffee or adult food, and instead is given baby food I make for her. She is diapered for the entire day and not permitted to use the washroom. Instead I change her when necessasry. She is spanked for each and every "adult" behaviour outside of what I have given her permission to do. She is not allowed to use her computer or to do any work or to speak with her adult friends or go out and do adult things. She is not allowed to watch adult television programs or films and instead must find things to do during the day to entertain her little side. This means she can watch children's movies and television, play games, colour pictures, and spend time with Daddy. These "Little Days" are intended as maintenance to help her remember that she is my little girl and that she must not forget this. These days are difficult for Anna and she sometimes has a hard time obeying me about some of the rules she finds particular embarrassing. Nonetheless, this form of maintenance is something that does wonders for her. Afterward, she is refreshed, happy, and has a good attitude. This is a form of maintenance I enjoy imposing on her and find very effective. (Goodness, Annalove, it's been a long time since you've had a Little Day, hasn't it? Clear your calendar for next Saturday please.)

Another form of maintenance I do regularly is medical checkups and examinations. I have discussed this previously so I won't go into detail, but these checks into Anna's health are deliberate invasions of her privacy and serve to remind her of the fact that she has no secrets from me. Again, she often finds these very challenging and struggles to obey my orders but she knows she will be punished if she is disobedient and so she usually does her best. These exams involve the administration of enemas, as well as internal checks. She finds these embarrassing and taking her through these routines that she finds embarrassing remind her of my control over her and my authority to make these decisions on her behalf. (Oh dear, Anna, it seems we've neglected these in awhile too. The new job has been far too greedy with your time. Tomorrow evening before bed for this, please.)

So, Daddyslittleone, I hope I have answered your question satisfactorily. I don't believe in maintenance spankings, but I do believe in maintenance rituals that reinforce the right mindset. Clearly, a spanking has the ability to do that too, and I'm glad your Daddy knows you well enough to know what works best for you.


Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Hi Gaelin, these posts are all interesting. I am learning so much from you. I hope things are going well with you.

7:29 PM  
Blogger Daddy said...

Hello ice_princess, dear. It is nice to hear from you again. Things are well here and I wish the same for you. I do keep up with reading your blog and though I haven't commented in awhile, I do read with interest about your life.

12:23 AM  

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