Sunday, February 19, 2006

Categorizing Discipline

I'm a man who works with numbers. I like to keep things organized, categoried and sorted. It's the way my mind works.

So I will need to be clear that Anna's latest need for discipline was categorized under "Disobedience and Disrespect". It is rare to have an entry in this column as Anna is most often very obedient and respectful. I am displeased when behaviour lands in this category.

Most commonly, her transgressions fall under a category I call "Not Taking Care of Yourself". Like many submissive women I have met, she suffers at times from the belief that she does not deserve the care, kindness and consideration due all human beings. She often neglects her own needs in order to make achievements she feels are necessary or sacrifices her own feelings for someone else's. I call this not taking care of herself. As her Daddy, I do all I can to take care of her, but she is required to help me in every way she can.

Examples of not taking are of herself usually include things like taking on more work than she can reasonable handle, or overextending herself emotionally to provide for the needs of friends or colleagues. Sometimes not taking care of herself can express itself physically too, like not taking her vitamin pills. Once, I caught Anna painting a windowsill in the stairwell, atop a twenty-foot freestanding ladder with no one holding it. You can imagine I was not pleased to see this in the least.

Anna's other common category of transgression is "Forgetful". Anna can be very forgetful, and at times this creates problems for her. She misses appointments that she doesn't write down. She forgets to take her cell phone with her when she leaves the house. I attribute this to her artistic nature, often consumed with transcendant thoughts that do not touch upon the boring and pedantic world of schedultes, appointments and responsibilities. I strive to help her improve upon this.

I believe that delivering a punishment requires careful thought and planning in order for it to be effective. I rarely haul my girl across my lap for a spanking without forethought. I do not believe in reacting emotionally in this arena, as being entrusted with the discipline of an adult is a weighty responsibility. I must do what is best for her and I must do it with care.

When Anna is not taking care of herself, a spanking must be delivered lovingly. Her mistake is of not loving herself enough, and so my spanking must show her how much I love her, in spite of the pain it causes. A spanking for not taking care of herself is administered slowly. She is given time, beforehand, to think of what she did wrong. We discuss it at length before the spanking begins. I tell her repeatedly how much I love her, and why it is that I require her to love herself. How valuable and precious she is to me. This spanking is delivered in layers. A layer of punishment followed by a layer of love. After a layer of spanks, I will stroke her sore bottom and tell her again, I love you my girl. You will not mistreat the people I love, and I love you first and foremost. And another layer of discipline, and then more love and so forth. The design of this spanking is not accidental. The pain of the punishment drives the message of love deeper into her heart.

When Anna's mistake is forgetfulness, my spanking is designed to imprint a memory. Literally, I want her to remember her smarting bottom every time she walks out the front door so that she will never walk through it again without first checking if her cell phone is with her. Imprinting a memory is similar to imprinting my love. It works in layers. The layer of spanks is followed by rest, during which time I will tell her again why she must always remember the lesson I am teaching. I will talk to her during this type of spanking again too, with the words matching the rhythem of the spanks, but I don't believe she absorbs much of what I say during the spanking, and that is why it is important to stop and have her listen between rounds.

I usually allow rest between rounds for a few reasons. The first is that no one can hear much while in the throes of pain, and so the verbal message is lost unless I stop to talk to her. The second reason is to keep her sense of panic under control. The longer I spank without rest, the more panicked she becomes as the pain increases. I purposely allow her to panic a little, but this only takes 10-20 sharp slaps before she reaches that level. Then I stop to let her regain her composure, to listen to what I am telling her and have her respond to me verbally. And then I continue. In layers like that. It keeps her focused on the
reason for the spanking which is more important, in most cases, than the pain it creates. The pain is only a tool for driving the lesson home. The squirming and the tears and the red bottom are just a pretty little side benefit for me to enjoy. :)

Now, about the Disrespect and Disobedience spanking. It's different. It's a rare event but I have a plan for it too, and it follows different rules. Speaking rudely and being disobedient are deliberate tests, in my opinion. Anna has submitted herself to my authority voluntarily, and I believe that when she is mouthy to me or disobeys me willfully, she is checking to see if I am paying attention to her, if I will hold her accountable for her behaviour or not. And I must assure her that I will.

I wash her mouth out with soap when she speaks to me disrespectfully. What she said to me was, "Oh Gaelin, shut up," when I told her she was looking tired and perhaps needing an early bedtime. She knows better than to say, "shut up", even when she is in adult mindset, as she clearly was at this moment. I took her by the arm and led her to washroom where I squeezed soap into my hand and washed her mouth thoroughly. She, of course, hates this passionately and blushed furiously and her eyes filled with tears. But then things got out of control.

She is not permitted to resist such types of discipline. She shows her respect by obeying and doing as is expected of her. With the ritual of mouthwashing, she is expected to hold her mouth open and allow me to wash it, and then she is sent to the corner for twenty minutes to think about what she did.

Usually, that is the extent of this sort of punishment. It is intended to bring her back to her little girl mindset and remind her that she must speak to me with respect at all times. She is always permitted to disagree with me but it must be done respectfully, and I never speak to her disrespectfully either.

Instead of submitting to the mouthwashing nicely, Anna bit my hand and tried to walk away. This is very unusual behaviour from her. Poor dear, she forgets that she weighs a hundred and two pounds and is only 5'3''! I pinned her hands behind her back and finished washing her mouth without further biting.

Then, I sent her to the corner for the standard twenty minutes, as I'm sure she was expecting. Only this time I pulled her jeans and panties down to her ankles while she stood there.

Of course she knew she would be spanked. She cried quietly in the corner while I set the timer. Sometimes twenty minutes of waiting for a spanking is worse punishment than the spanking itself. The anticipation is part of the punishment.

I believe in taking time to calm down before administering a spanking. I never
ever spank Anna when I am angry. It is essential that I am clearheaded when disciplining her so that I do not push her too far. I outweigh her by almost a hundred pounds and I could hurt her severely if I wasn't attentive to her reactions. So I took that twenty minutes to take a few deep breaths and ensure I was calm. By the time twenty minutes had elapsed she was trembling and I was completely cool. As it should be. The timer rang and I told her to come to me.

A spanking administered for disrespect and disobedience is not layered. She does not get the grace of time between layers to compose herself. I say all that needs to be said beforehand:

Anna, I will not tolerate disrespect in your words or your actions. I have never, in all the years we have been married, spoken to you disrespectfully, and I will never accept it in return. You will never try to bite my hand again, I will not have you walk away from me while I am disciplining you. Your behaviour indicates that you need a big spanking and so you will get one. Come here.

There was no resistance this time. She had to know that she could only make things worse for herself by being disobedient now, and she lay herself meekly across my lap, the tears already flowing. I am moved, to my soul, by her tears. But I never let them stay me from doing what I know is right for her special little girl heart.

When she is spanked for disobedience and disrespect, I spank her fast. I usually use my rubber-soled slipper, which I am loathe to wear, but which makes an absolutely perfect spanking implement. It turns a bottom bright red in seconds but leaves no lasting marks. I spank her fast and there is no need to spank hard for this to be effective. A light flick of the wrist, quickly and repeatedly and her bottom reddens within seconds. It is necessary for this kind of spanking, (and for most) to pin her arms behind her back. She is unable to to avoid flailing. It is also necessary to cover her legs with one of mine so that she will not buck and kick beyond my ability to hold her. I am fortunate that she is a small woman because she is strong! But a disobedience and disrespect spanking comes with less mercy for her sense of panic and I spank quickly and for a long time to ensure her entire bottom is stinging fiercely. I also deliver a few to the tender backs of her pretty thighs to make a lasting impression. This kind of spanking causes Anna to scream at first. I know it is painful but this kind of pain is different than a heavy spanking with her wooden paddle. This spanking is all about

I know it hurts darling, but it leaves no lasting marks, no long lasting pain. The bottom is bright red right now, but it will be only pink in an hour, and completely back to normal within two hours.

I know it hurts, darling. It's meant to.

She screams at first as her panic rises. There is no break to compose herself. The spanking is fast. She screams and struggles but I do not stop. I hold her tightly pinned and spank her relentlessly. She is meant to feel that sense of panic, that fear that I won't stop, that fear that I will take her beyond her ability to handle the pain. I love to watch her bottom clench and unclench as it strives to hide from my slipper, though she can barely move.

I watch her reactions carefully, though I'm sure she feels unsafe at this moment, I am measuring her behaviour precisely. The screaming is normal and expected. It earns her no mercy. I carry on until it changes. I will lighten the spanks but keep them coming fast. Adding sting on top of sting means by the end I can be barely brushing her bottom and she will still feel the heat. Her voice eventually gets hoarse and she stops shrieking and starts sobbing. Her bottom, by this point, is absolutely brilliantly red, a lovely sight to behold if you've never seen such a thing. (I
must get that camera!) The struggling will eventually subside somewhat as well, and change from fierce kicking to a general tension, slowly releasing as the sobbing takes over her body.

This is the right place to slow and then stop, as her body submits. As her spirit submits. When I release her arms and legs, she doesn't get up from my lap, but continues to lie across it, crying. Her embarrassment and self-consciousness are completely forgotten and she allows me this lovely view while she cries and cries.

When she has cried herself out, I pull her up to sit upon my lap. The heat of her bottom I can feel clear through my clothing. She sits gingerly and snuggles up under my chin like a baby, sobs reduces to shuddering breaths and then returning to calm and easy breathing. I rub her back and tell her how much I love her.

There is a conflictual feeling, spanking someone you love so dearly. I adore her and I hate to hurt her. But loving her and knowing this is something she needs makes it absolutely necessary. The fact that I am a Daddy at heart makes it the most natural thing in the world to spank my wife when she misbehaves, but also the most natural thing in the world to feel pangs at hurting her. The sight of her beautiful round bottom reddened and quivering under my touch is poetic to my sadistic nature, as are her tears soaking through the legs of my pants.

Though our relationship is a choice we have made together, that we both believe is best for us, it is not pretend. She chooses to accept my discipline and dominance over her, and yet, she cannot help but resist it at times. It is human nature. She cannot help but test me. And I cannot help but respond by proving that I will never hesitate to discpline her when I feel it is right for her.

While she is floating in what some call sub-space, I hold her gently. I stroke her hair, I rub her back, I kiss her eyelashes.

As she returns to earth, it is time again to ensure the lesson has not been lost in the pain of the spanking or the bliss of the afterglow.

Stand up Anna.

I apply vaseline to her bottom, gently. One finger. Then two. Stretching her bottom. She is embarrassed now, acutely aware of the colour she is wearing and the heat she is exuding. Her face matches her bottom prettily. She sulkily looks away when I try to watch her face over her shoulder.

I insert the bottom plug, gently but not too slowly, for it is meant to impart a lesson of its own. She will wear it for the rest of the evening until bedtime. Every time she sits or moves it will provide a reminder that she belongs to me. Her heart is mine, her tears are mine, her bottom is mine. I will treasure them all and treat with respect and care. She will remember what she has learned today. Until the next time.


Blogger Miss_Deidre said...

*peeks in* Guess who's back amoungst the land of the living?

I've missed You and Your lovely girl ...

*sends much love and kisses*

Miss Deidre

1:49 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

How lovely to see you again! I'd been working at creating a Missing/Lost poster:

Lost: One Misplaced Bostonian
Answers to Miss Deidre but only when she feels like it and you had better say it with respect!


If found: please return to lonely Irish man who misses her wit and saucy mouth.

2:24 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

PS: I've tried to enter the information to relink to you but it is stubbornly refusing to connect. Perhaps you can, as a clearly more experienced programmer than I, advise me.

3:52 AM  
Blogger Miss_Deidre said...

*chuckle* Go into your Template and press CTRL + F

When the dialogue box comes up, type in miss_deidre1974 and press FIND

When the highlighted text appears on your screen, close the dialogue box and center your eyes on the text in question.

As the text is highlighted simply type over it lostbostonian so, after your done the link should look something like this:

a href="">Boston- Lost and Found

*sends hugs* I have faith in you My friend ... Just make sure to carb up before attempting this and be sure to get plenty of rest ... this can be very taxing on the brain


12:41 AM  
Blogger 1950's Princess said...

I have a domestic discipline blog

princess x

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If your wife cheated on you, looked at porn, or checked out other men in front of you, would you spank her, even in public?

4:01 AM  

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