Sunday, January 08, 2006

I am a Sadist.

My little one, Ireland's daughter posted : My Daddy is strict. He doesn't believe in letting things go and he is diligent about paying attention. Honestly, I don't know he can notice and remember every little thing when I have such a hard time attending to details, but he does seem to have super powers. He says it's because he doesn't want to let me down, but I also think it's because he doesn't want to miss a chance to spank me! Unlike me, I think Daddy actually enjoys giving a spanking. He certainly does it often enough to convince me so.

Let's talk about that, shall we? You said that you do not enjoy the sensation of pain just for the sake of itself. You are not a true masochist. I believe that I would not find it as enticing to inflict pain on a true masochist because the pain I cause you is meant to be corrective. It is not meant to be enjoyed. It is not meant to be arousing, in and of itself. In that way, a sadist and a masochist are poorly matched by definition. If the masochist loves the pain, how is the sadist to enjoy inflicting it?

I am a sadist, you are correct. It is the ultimate irony that the pain I love to inflict upon you is pain inflicted upon the person I adore most in this world. It is not powerful, to me, to inflict pain upon someone I do not love. And it does not please me to inflict pain meaninglessly or randomly. However, just as in the moment, you do not enjoy the pain I am causing you, in the moment, I have mixed feelings about inflicting it. I am moved by your tears and your pleas and I do hate to hurt you as much as it simultaneously pleases me. When I punish you, I am seeking to guide you, through pain, to the other side of pain, where you are purged.

I am a sadist, and so it is true that the sound of your protests and cries does arouse me. The helpless futile wriggling of your pretty little bottom across my lap - when I pin your arms behind your back and spank it - is absolutely mouthwatering.

Your full-lipped pout when I send you to stand in the corner, your crimson blush when I have pushed you to a place you find uncomfortable - these are all treasures to me.

And so in these ways you are correct. Being your Daddy and owning your submission is enormously rewarding. Your desire to please me, pleases me as much as anything else could. Your obedience, when I insist you do something you are loathe to do, is the most moving thing I can imagine. When I order you to lie across my lap, knowing full well you are going to be severely disciplined, and you do so in spite of the fear, in spite of the embarrassment, and in spite of your reluctance, you please me and gift me in a way no one else can.

I am a sadist. But I am not merciless. I never have, and never will, inflict pain upon you that is beyond the realm of your ability to process it. I will always strive to push your limits, and prevent you from becoming complacent, but I will never harm you in any "real" way. I will never hurt you purely for my own purposes. As you have grown accustomed to over the years, punishments are always earned and never randomly imposed.

Likewise, I will never hurt you emotionally. Feeling my disappointment when you misbehave, being punished, and being forgiven, will always be the same. You will always be forgiven and you will always be loved, no matter what transgressions occur. I seek to make you feel loved and secure and know, even in your moments of the most ultimate kinds of embarrassment, that you are safe with me.

Being your Daddy is a responsibility I take seriously. It is my job to pay attention to you very closely so that no misdeed goes unpunished and no good behaviour goes unrewarded either. It is my responsibility to know you, better at times, than you know yourself. It is up to me to know your limits, both mentally and physically, and ensure that we push them just slightly, without frightening or harming you in any "real" way. Daddy, of course, does not consider a bright red bottom to be "real" harm!

Consensuality is an overarching permission and it is not to be considered by time and place and other specifics. You have given your overarching consent to me to reward you and punish you as I see fit. You have consented to be my little girl. Sometimes I will make decisions you will not like, but you can be certain they will always be made with your best interests in my heart because I love you above all. The fact that you do not enjoy being spanked, or any other punishments, heartens me greatly. If you said that you adored to be spanked, I would feel I had done it incorrectly, as your spankings are meant to teach you, correct you, and punish you. In this way, the fact that you are not a true masochist pleases me tremendously. I relish the fact that in the middle of a punishment you are red-faced, red-bottomed, humiliated, sobbing, and pleading for it to end with all sincerity. I relish it because when an hour has passed and you have been calmed and soothed, you tell me that you wish to change nothing. You wish to continue to gift me with this submission and so I am blessed.

And so it is true, my darling, that I do enjoy spanking you. I do enjoy all aspects of being your Daddy. Your submission and your trust are the greatest gift I have ever received and they will never be taken for granted. I remain aware, at all times, that these are gifts you have given me, that my situation is rare and special. I will always use your submission as a tool for your benefit and to help you to see how much I adore you, how aware I am that you are a blessing in my life.

4 Comments:

Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Thanks, I hope your year is filled with good things as well. I wanted to say it almost made me cry to read this post, I don't know if it's your writing style or the fact that you genuinely adore her so much, or maybe it's my own jealousy at never having been adored. In any event, it's a beautiful post and gives more insight into that mind of yours. You're discussing things I really have no knowledge of so I can't say anything intelligent on the subject. I just was moved to leave something and of course to respond to the greeting you gave me.

1:45 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

It is very sad to me to hear that you feel you have never been adored. I don't know you well enough to rant as I would like to on this subject but I dearly hope that you know in your heart the difference between not feeling adored and not being adorable. If you are not adored, I am certain you are still most adorable, whether the one whose job it is to do so makes you feel that way or not. I have much to say about this but am presently biting my tongue lest I say something that crosses a line. I don't want to offend you, just to make it clear that you are absolutely worthy of adoration and the fact you don't feel adored is indicative of a problem that does not lie with you.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

Aren't you sweet? I don't offend that easily but I appreciate your sensitivity, you want me to stick around and leave you comments from time to time don't you? I don't understand how you both do this 24/7 I left your little one a comment about that. I don't think I could live it 24/7 how did that come to be for you guys? Just giving you more topics to post about, as if you need my help lol.

4:56 PM  
Blogger lolalane said...

That was a beautiful declaration. :)

4:34 AM  

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