Sunday, December 04, 2005

Little Days

Little Day isn't meant to be a punishment, rather a reminder of the little girl's place and position in our life together. I do not insist on a Little Day every weekend, only when it comes to my attention that she is starting to forget. Granted, it is difficult at times to maintain the delicate balance she must live with, between being the adult and independant woman she truly is and the little girl she has chosen to be with me. But I require her to remember and when there is evidence of forgetting, I help her to remember.

Little Days happen only on days when we have nothing else to do, nowhere else to go, when it is possible to commit fully and completely to the entire day's experience. It is just past eight here now, and I have put my little girl down to bed for the night, following a full day of being little.

On Little Day, she is not permitted to be dressed in adult clothes. Most often she stays in her romper (not jumper, hah!) for the day because she is also required to be in nappies, and this is how they fit best. (She recently posted in her blog about the psychological struggle of being diapered.) She is not allowed to have coffee in the morning, a strict rule I insist upon on Little Day, as I expect her to be my baby in every way possible. (This makes her quite cross and has resulted in many a spanking over the years, though I am relieved to say that I feel she has finally made some peace with this one particular hurdle.)

I do not allow her to cook or to eat grown up food on Little Days. I make her meals for her, and they consist only of healthy things that I would feed a real baby. Blended fruit smoothies go down nicely. Strained vegetables have been the source of some struggles in the past as well, and are yet another hurdle she has worked hard to overcome, with the aid of my wooden spoon.

Activity and conversation on Little Days are restricted, as much as possible, to those that would fit a real child. She is permitted to watch children's television and movies, to play with toys, to do colouring pages, and read children's stories. We do not discuss adult topics on Little Day. She is not permitted to take phone calls from adult friends or from work.

On Little Days, I am especially quick with both affection and discipline. Because she is spending a prolonged period of time in a particular mindset I am working to create for her, it is important for me to be attentive and immediate. I spend a great deal of time holding her on my lap, snuggling her, bathing her, and playing with her. When she slips in her "little behaviours", (for example, today she forgot herself and answered the telephone without permission) although these are not behaviours that would normally call for discipline, perhaps just a verbal reminder, on Little Days they are dealt with as more serious infractions and she is spanked.

However, I have also learned through this process that spankings do not need to be particularly harsh on Little Days to have enormous impact. Because she is already in a heightened state of being little, and being submissive, I find it is very effective to simply open the tapes on her diaper, pull her over my knee, and deliver five or six sharp smacks with the palm of my hand to go with the verbal scolding, "YOU ARE... NOT !!! ... A... BIG GIRL... RIGHT... NOW!" This is more than enough to provide an effective reminder and because it is not harsh or terribly painful, it can be repeated several times throughout the day if necessary.

Little Days are meant to be relaxing for her, an opportunity for her to release all responsibility and adult pressures and completely succumb to being cared for and taken care of. When I first introduced Little Days to my girl, she had a very hard time with them. She fought me on many of the small points, like coffee and strained vegetables! She had a very difficult time letting herself regress far enough to let me spood feed her and make such simple decisions for her. I believe these things have gotten easier for her over the years, with much practice and encouragement as well as a system of rewards and punishments (The Stick and the Carrot!).

Some aspects of being that little are still a great challenge for my girl. I think nappies still top the list of difficult things I sometimes ask her to do. The very fact that she struggles so much with this requirement makes her submission when she manages to comply even more precious. If she had no trouble submitting to me in these ways I think they would be less meaningful. When she fights her own instincts and forces herself to do as I ask without me having to force her, I am proud of her. And when all is said and done, I know she is also proud of herself.

Reading a friend's blog got me thinking about contracts. I do not have a written contract with my wife, but we do have a verbal agreement. The agreement is that I have the authority to make decisions for her (always in her best interest). She is always free to question my decisions and ask for clarification. She is allowed, even, to argue, provided she is respectful, and I am always respectful of her too. I have the authority, however, to close discussions when necessary. The other part of our agreement is that she is free to change her mind about being my little girl. She is not bound to be submissive to me forever. She is not a slave. If she asks me to stop, I will. The only caveat to this part of our agreement is that it cannot be discussed immediately prior to, during, or immediately after a punishment. This means she cannot decide that I should not Daddy her specifically because I have taken off my belt! If she feels that way the next day, then I will do as she wishes. And so far, she has never suggested any unhappiness with our arrangement except while she is in the midst of something she finds particularly painful or difficult.

What brings this to mind is my earlier thoughts on nappies, and her blog entry about them, written in anticipation, no doubt, of today's events. She does have such a hard time submitting to wear them, poor thing. (You'd understand why I insist if you could see how cute she looks in them!) My point is that although she struggles with this aspect of her submission so much, she does not, when she is free to do so, bring them up as a point of debate.

My own feeling about this is that challenging her to do something so difficult is good for her. I'd be interested to know what other submissives or Dominants feel about this issue; not of nappies in particular - I know that not everyone understands or appreciates this type of submission - but of requiring things that are particularly difficult to the psyche. I think it is good for a submissive to be challenged to do things that are especially difficult. Do we agree?







9 Comments:

Blogger lolalane said...

Daddy,

I'm not particularly interested in the specific type of relationship that you share with your girl--for myself, but I do sincerely appreciate the commitment and adoration you two have to each other. It is delightfully obvious.

I thought that I would jump in here with a comment on requiring things that are particularly difficult to the psyche. When I am with Sir, it is his requirement that I ask for permission if I would like to go to the restroom. This, in particular, has been hard for me. The implication is that at some point he will come with me to the bathroom. I am insanely private about this and resist it all the time, which leads to punishment, but he is very clear that there is no privacy anymore.

I am still struggling with this and can't say that I really think it's "good for me," but the insinuation that I am consumingly owned by someone is comforting, and arguably, could be good for me.

I like this perspective. I'll be around. :)

3:23 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

lolalane, it is lovely to see you here again and thank you for your thoughts. Removing personal space and privacy is a very powerful experience, I believe, from either perspective, and this is precisely why I have the requirements I do. It is not the bathroom activities themselves that are of any interest, but rather the personal struggle my girl experiences in attempting to break through a very difficult barrier. Her decision to do this simply because it is what I ask of her is most moving. In our house, in fact, she is not permitted to lock or close any doors without express permission.

I agree with your Sir's position on asking permission to go to the restroom, and even his implication that he is free to accompany you there if he decides to. This is a powerful show of your submission, valuing your privacy as you do. My compliments to both of you.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

I think it depends on the situation and the degree of difficulty to the psyche. There is a line after all, lord knows I have been on the wrong side of that line more than once in my relationships and it has truely been terrifying, then again none of my relationships have really had any bdsm aspects to them so what do I know. Hey, I have a friend in Ireland who is trying to meet some women that are into spanking, I suggested he try some chatrooms but when he asked me for chatroom suggestions I didn't have any. I don't suppose that being in Ireland you'd have any suggestions that I can pass along?

6:03 PM  
Blogger Daddy said...

Hi honey, I agree with what you've said about situation and degree. That is another reason I think BDSM and age play are best practiced with people you know and love. Scening with strangers has never appealed to me because I believe it is essential to have a strong understanding of your partner's needs, fears and triggers. When you have that, you learn what creates the most intense reactions, and in my experience it is often unexpected and unpredictable.

I was curious as to what you meant by having been on the wrong side of the line and being terrified, particularly as you stated none of your relationships involved BDSM. I truly hope you are keeping yourself safe and that you are as well treated as you deserve to be.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

My friend, someday perhaps I may explain that, but at this present moment in time I am not ready to go there. I would just say that there have been situations in life that have placed me on the wrong side of the psychologically difficult line in my relationships. It's complicated.

On another note I had an additional thought, perhaps she doesn't bring these things up for debate because she doesn't want to disappoint you. I know in my vanilla life I don't bother to bring things to my husband because I know he doesn't care what my opinion is and won't honor it anyway so I've stopped bringing things up for debate or whatever. Anyway I hope you are sleeping soundly as it must be some obscene hour there. Take care, I told my Irish friend to visit your blog by the way, not sure if he will or not.

12:04 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

Only a little after midnight but a school night after all! I seem to have not set my Blog clock correctly as it tells me we are sitting at a little past four.

I forgot to answer your question about chatrooms. I'm afraid I was married before chatrooms became terribly popular and I did it the old-fashioned way. I'm afraid I have no good advice; sorry I can be of no help there.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Ice_Princess said...

I didn't even look at your blog clock I was just remembering we will in different time zones. Well, I will sort it out then and advise him he can't be that hard, I just thought I'd ask anyway...one never knows. Did you get a gift for the sister in law you never did answer that question or if you did I missed it.

2:49 AM  
Blogger Daddy said...

We're three days from Christmas and I am still without gift for the sister in law! I am planning to send my wife to shop for her instead as they are close in age (and in friendship) and hope she will have more luck than I have had. My apologies for being away so long. As holidays approach I have been required to put in long hours.

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to hear more about coffee punishments. As a form of humiliation I've snetenced one poor girl to wearing diapers and drinking juice while the whole rest of the family drinks coffee -and she loves coffee-everyone laughs and asks her if she wants some coffee-when she says yes -they laugh at her! of course she then takes tries to sneak some and gets spanked in front of the family! a sunday morning tradition

5:44 AM  

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